Welcome to Study Abroad, would you like a side of embarrassment with that depression?

So this week sucked.

The suckiness peaked on Tuesday when I sobbed hysterically in the bathroom at school for a solid half an hour, but since then it has slowly improved until earlier today, when I felt something snap and suddenly I'm unshakably happy.

So as much as I am joyous right now, let me give you an idea of what it really feels like to have a really bad day while abroad.

Imagine waking up and being disoriented because you aren't waking up in your bed. Then all at once you remember that not only are you not in your bed, you aren't in you room, or your house, or your town. You are even in the right continent. But you still somehow have to get out of bed.

Then you go downstairs and remember that these people eating in the kitchen that definitely isn't your own don't even speak your language. But you still somehow have to talk to them.

When the morning finishes you have to walk out of the house (which despite not being your own is more comforting then school) and go to a new place full of more people who don't speak your language. Then you sit through hours upon hours of classes and just try to will the minutes to slug by faster because you don't know how much more of this you can sit through. Then on a rare burst of inspiration you focus very hard on what the teacher is saying and (oh, joy) you get one word out of five. Let me tell you, when they are explaining meiosis, one out of five is just not good enough.

Then after what feels like a veritable eternity, you get to go back to the house where you feel mildly more comfortable and you get to do homework. Maybe you go for a run, just to try not to think for a little while, because you know that if you do, the pain will come back and you will do almost anything to avoid the feeling in the pit of your stomach that screams in protest at everything around you, saying that it is wrong, that you should be home. 

Then, finally, you get to go to bed, and you stare at the ceiling of the bedroom that isn't in your house, or your town, or even your continent, and you try as hard as you can to hold back the tears that threaten to explode from you, and after an infinity passes, you get to sleep.

Ok, that was all a bit dramatic, and really, days THIS bad are not frequent (though Tuesday was really bad).

I do have some favorite pastimes for classes:

1. Think of ways that I could go home without having to do any paperwork (none of which work well, because they usually involve me getting harmed in some way)

2. Making a dot on the paper for every second that goes by and try to draw something out of the dots.

3. General doodles.

4. Homework for other classes.

5. Thinking of blog post ideas.

Alright, now onto the funnier (for y'all) part of the post. Where I tell you all the embarrassing things I've said/done since I've been here. And can we appreciate that I am actually admitting to all of these things?

-When I said Texas wants to commit suicide instead of Texas wants to secede.

-When I didn't get the date of a test right, and I had to explain to my teacher that I really wasn't ready to explain meiosis IN CATALAN in front of THE WHOLE CLASS.

-When I thought that two people were dating and turns out they really aren't.

-When I (pretty loudly) mixed up the word for 'bottle' and the word for 'penis'.

So that is one very small portion of the embarrassing things I have done, but some I'm really not in the mood to relive right now... So instead I'm going to tell you about one of the things that made my day that actually happened while I was writing this post.

So my sister were in my room and we were kinda messing around, and then I said something sarcastic and Neus made this one face that everyone hates and literally without missing a beat Nuria swat her on the back of the head at the exact moment that I smacked her in the forehead. It was so perfect and little things like this make it worth.

I realize as I am rereading this that it does paint a pretty dismal picture of my time here, but I promise I am actually having a lot of fun. I definitely don't have only bad days, and slowly but surely I am making friends here and I think that I have come a long way with my Spanish, even if it sometimes feels like I'm spinning my wheels a bit...

Adios amigos!