Studying Abroad: Not As Bad As I Made It Out To Be

I feel like that last post needed a follow-up:

I am not actually miserable here.

OK, now that that is out of the way, I'll tell y'all a little about my orientation that I had this weekend with AFS. I do mean just a little, seeing as how they are all more or less the same.

So here are the highlights:

- laughing till we cried about the stupidest things.

- scavenger hunt through the streets of Manresa at night

- really violent games of ninja

- awkward sex-ed lesson involving a condom and a banana

- ping pong tournaments (I was one of the better players *tosses hair annoyingly*)

-and semi-edible hostel meals

So that is kind of it... It's always really fun to see my friends from Germany and

Austria, and they teach me words in German (by far the funniest being "antibabypillen" which means birth control pill).

Besides that not a lot has happened, I just didn't want to leave y'all hanging with that depressing post.

Adios!!

Welcome to Study Abroad, would you like a side of embarrassment with that depression?

So this week sucked.

The suckiness peaked on Tuesday when I sobbed hysterically in the bathroom at school for a solid half an hour, but since then it has slowly improved until earlier today, when I felt something snap and suddenly I'm unshakably happy.

So as much as I am joyous right now, let me give you an idea of what it really feels like to have a really bad day while abroad.

Imagine waking up and being disoriented because you aren't waking up in your bed. Then all at once you remember that not only are you not in your bed, you aren't in you room, or your house, or your town. You are even in the right continent. But you still somehow have to get out of bed.

Then you go downstairs and remember that these people eating in the kitchen that definitely isn't your own don't even speak your language. But you still somehow have to talk to them.

When the morning finishes you have to walk out of the house (which despite not being your own is more comforting then school) and go to a new place full of more people who don't speak your language. Then you sit through hours upon hours of classes and just try to will the minutes to slug by faster because you don't know how much more of this you can sit through. Then on a rare burst of inspiration you focus very hard on what the teacher is saying and (oh, joy) you get one word out of five. Let me tell you, when they are explaining meiosis, one out of five is just not good enough.

Then after what feels like a veritable eternity, you get to go back to the house where you feel mildly more comfortable and you get to do homework. Maybe you go for a run, just to try not to think for a little while, because you know that if you do, the pain will come back and you will do almost anything to avoid the feeling in the pit of your stomach that screams in protest at everything around you, saying that it is wrong, that you should be home. 

Then, finally, you get to go to bed, and you stare at the ceiling of the bedroom that isn't in your house, or your town, or even your continent, and you try as hard as you can to hold back the tears that threaten to explode from you, and after an infinity passes, you get to sleep.

Ok, that was all a bit dramatic, and really, days THIS bad are not frequent (though Tuesday was really bad).

I do have some favorite pastimes for classes:

1. Think of ways that I could go home without having to do any paperwork (none of which work well, because they usually involve me getting harmed in some way)

2. Making a dot on the paper for every second that goes by and try to draw something out of the dots.

3. General doodles.

4. Homework for other classes.

5. Thinking of blog post ideas.

Alright, now onto the funnier (for y'all) part of the post. Where I tell you all the embarrassing things I've said/done since I've been here. And can we appreciate that I am actually admitting to all of these things?

-When I said Texas wants to commit suicide instead of Texas wants to secede.

-When I didn't get the date of a test right, and I had to explain to my teacher that I really wasn't ready to explain meiosis IN CATALAN in front of THE WHOLE CLASS.

-When I thought that two people were dating and turns out they really aren't.

-When I (pretty loudly) mixed up the word for 'bottle' and the word for 'penis'.

So that is one very small portion of the embarrassing things I have done, but some I'm really not in the mood to relive right now... So instead I'm going to tell you about one of the things that made my day that actually happened while I was writing this post.

So my sister were in my room and we were kinda messing around, and then I said something sarcastic and Neus made this one face that everyone hates and literally without missing a beat Nuria swat her on the back of the head at the exact moment that I smacked her in the forehead. It was so perfect and little things like this make it worth.

I realize as I am rereading this that it does paint a pretty dismal picture of my time here, but I promise I am actually having a lot of fun. I definitely don't have only bad days, and slowly but surely I am making friends here and I think that I have come a long way with my Spanish, even if it sometimes feels like I'm spinning my wheels a bit...

Adios amigos!

1 Month, 7 points, and 11 things that are weird.

First, let's all celebrate for a moment that I have, in fact, survived the first month of my exchange. Yesterday marked the day that I had been IN my town for a month. Unfortunately, yesterday was also the day the marked my first illness since I got here, and I am currently sitting in a ball on the couch trying really hard not to swallow. My family is so nice about it, and I realized yet again how truly lucky I am to have this amazing of a host family.
But despite my sore throat, I am actually in very high spirits, since it feels like I have now been here for a tangible amount of time, as opposed to a fraction of a fraction of time... And it is beginning to really feel like home, although I remind myself everyday how truly amazing this is, and that I am actually doing this, that it isn't a dream.
I have received my first test back, which is pretty cool (even if it was a math test, and that is kind of universal). I got a 7 out of 10, which unlike in the U.S. is a really good note. 10s are pretty rare, no one in my class got one on this test, I think that 8 was the highest note, and seeing as how I barely understood the questions, I was very happy with this score. I also took a Spanish test, which I haven't received back, but I am not expecting to have done nearly as well... I will report back later.
That last paragraph was, by the way, the '7 points' part of the title, now to the things that are weird. (Side note: AFS doesn't love the term 'weird', but I don't love the term 'different' and it's my blog I'll call things weird if I want to.)
1. They buy Nutella in the biggest freakin' container I've ever seen.
2. They do math in pen, and use a BUNCH of white-out, instead of just using pencil.
3. They say that the times that classes start are really strict, but when people roll in 5 minutes late their totally fine.
4. The calendars have the week number, like Week 33.
5. People know me, and whenever I walk out of the house, I hear about it later, like "Oh, hey, I saw you the other day on your bike" and I just kinda look at them like "....". (please insert my face making the face of your choosing).
6. People don't really email, even for business-y things.
7. I was supposed to meet my friends at 4:00, and at 4:05 we were texting each other about where to meet.
8. The way they tell time. (8:30 is "two quarters of 9")
9. When I chatted with my parents for two hours, they were like "that's all?" and I was like "you want me to call them back?"
10. It's pretty common for people to say "Yeah, we don't really eat dessert", but then eat chocolate at basically every meal.
11. They speak spanish.

Ok, I was kind of kidding with that last one, but a couple of days ago, my brother comes in and I go "Oh, hey!" and he says, "Hola", and I literally though to myself "Oh, yeah, they speak spanish."
Ok, that about all, love you guys!!

Orientations Galore and The Worst Day

Hey guys!
So this past weekend, I went to Barcelona with AFS to have our post-arrival orientation, but I will tell you about that later...
Right now, I want to tell you about last Thursday.
Unfortunately, it was awful.
I woke up in an amazing mood, so happy to have had a dream about nothing more than waking up in my bed from back in the U.S. It was so simple, and yet so joyful, until I realized that I was not in fact in the U.S. but here, in Spain. This happens pretty frequently that I dream of being home, but it does not often put me in such a towering temper as it did that day.
School was fine, no particular incident stood out, but just the general feeling of loneliness took hold of me, and for those of you who have not yet experienced this kind of loneliness, it is tough. It makes it hard to see anything good about anything, which makes it hard to feel motivated to focus in class, which in turn gives a lot of time to think, which is the downfall of happiness. So there I was, literally doing the multiplication of how many seconds there were until I could go home, stuck in a hot classroom, with people scowling at me from all direction, listening without understanding to what and unforgiving teacher was droning on about in the front of the inattentive class. OK, looking back, the room was probably cool, people were almost for sure not scowling, and the teachers are usually pretty nice, but you have to understand how hopeless it feels in the moment...
Then I got home, and normally that cheers me up right away, seeing as how I love my family here so much, but that day being in the horribly horrible mood that I was in, not even doing the laundry with my little sister could cheer me up (I realize that sounds obvious but it is normally really fun).
Anyways, I went to bed in a bad mood, which is never a good idea, but I suppose sometimes there is just no choice.
OK, now to the happier part of life.
The AFS "orientation" that took place this past weekend was good, albeit a bit boring at times. It also was not doing so much orienting, as allowing a chance to chat about stuff. Turns out, other people also find it crazy how huge the shampoo bottles are here (more on that in the next post). It was actually really hard at first, because most people's classes are a bit more open than my class here, and I felt like I was 'behind' in the making friends department... Anyways, that was instantly remedied when I met Paige, a girl from California, who was also having a bit of trouble making friends, and we easily bonded over how much that sucked. I also met Peter, a boy from Germany, who spoke very good english (with the most amazing british/german accent!) and the three of us spent lots of time chatting with each other and some returnees who came to the orientation. Hearing their various stories of success and difficulties was really helpful, and definitely one of the highlights of the orientation.
As far as organized activities go, we went over the rules of AFS ("no drugs, no driving, no hitchhiking" -every AFSer ever mutters in their sleep, seeing as how often that is drilled into our heads), we also did a lot about non-verbal communication, which was actually pretty cool. Another activity, where we were chatting about our contact frequency with home, we split into groups. Now, this is the second day, and so apparently the volunteers had seen enough of our spanish to be able to split us up into groups based on our level, and in my group, it was just me and one other girl from Serbia (who happens to know the exchange student staying with my dad in the U.S.. What a small world.) and we were with the chaperone who doesn't speak english, since apparently we both knew enough spanish to get on with out english. Let me tell you: I understand pretty well, and everyone tells me that I've learned so much and what not, but it definitely feels like I'm making 0 progress from day to day.
Anyways, near the very end of the orientation, our host families came to meet us, and we (the students) had a couple of hours to hang out with our host siblings. I was joking around and Indian wrestling (less violent than it sounds) with my host sisters and we already have a bunch of inside jokes so we were all laughing pretty hard, which made me yet again grateful about my host family placement, seeing as how many of the other students were mostly chatting with each other, instead of with their siblings.
Speaking of host siblings, a couple of nights ago, my host sister discovered PhotoBooth, and so, naturally, a full-blown photo shoot happened in my bedroom. (These are the two pictures from a BUNCH, mind you).

Ok, so we're all super cute, (in that last one I was kind of done, or maybe just fixing my hair, can't really remember, but regardless... I love my host family!!)

I also can't figure out how to put this text to the side, so I guess we like centered text, don't we (glares at you through two screens and probably the atlantic ocean depending on where you are).

But you won't have to deal with this for long, I'm about done.

Next blog post, y'all can expect an update on my visa situation, as well as a list of things that are different from the U.S. 

All righty, thanks so much for reading!!

-Fogg

And.... Scene! That's a wrap, everyone!

Scene 1-- The Good Kind of Teacher:

Them on the first day of school: Hi! Do you understand very much catalan?

Me: Very little, but don't let that deter you, I will just catch what I can.

Them: OK, perfect, I will make sure to pronounce things fully, and speak clearly, etc.

Me: Thanks! That's perfect!

Them: *actually does what they said they were going to do*

Me: *understands a good part of what is going on in class* *is very happy that the teacher isn't making the whole class wait on me.*

Scene 2 -- The Less Good Ones:

Them on the first day of school: Hi! Do you understand very much catalan?

Me: Very little, but don't let that deter you, I will just catch what I can.

Them: OK, perfect, I will make sure to pronounce things fully, and speak clearly, etc.

Me: Thanks! That's perfect!

Them: *pronounces things clearly, etc., but checks in with me after every sentence, no matter how insignificant*

Me: *smiles apologetically at the rest of the class, because we have now spent 6 hours trying to get me to understand something I would have figured out on my own five minutes later* 

Me: *leaves class slightly exasperated about how slow that was, while still understanding that the teacher was, actually, trying to help*

Scene 3 -- That One Teacher:

Her on the first day of school: Hi!.....

Her: *waits for a couple of seconds to make sure I fully understood* 

Her: How

Her: *waits for a couple of seconds to make sure I fully understood* 

Her: Are

Her: *waits for a couple of seconds to make sure I fully understood* 

Her: you? (Continues in this manner)

Me: *can hardly understand her because it is actually difficult to understand someone when they talk 7.344 times slower than a snail moves.*

Her as soon as her back is turned to write something on the board: huble shomotalfid ancu hitlando.

Me: *can understand even less because it is actually difficult to understand someone when they talk at 7.344 times the speed of light.*

Me: *leaves class frustrated because I not only didn't learn anything whatsoever, but because it was not at all apparent she was even trying*

Scene 4 -- The Music Lessons :

(Note: this scene has two parts : Pt. I : the Flute Lesson; and Pt. II : the Piano Lesson.)

Part I: the Flute Lesson

My host sister: This is the American girl who is staying with us, she's taking flute lessons, and Castillan Spanish is best for the moment.

Me: *grateful that she had shown me where to go, and introduced me exactly as we had discussed* Thanks! And hello! I would like to let you know that I don't know very many music terms in Spanish.

Flute Teacher: that's ok, we will figure it out fine!

Me: Awesome!

*after lesson*

Teacher: see you next week!

Me: yup.

Me: *thinks the teacher is great, but remembers why I quit flute in the first place*

Part 2: the Piano Lesson

Me: Hi, I am the American girl staying with Neus's family, I am taking piano lessons, and for now, Castillan Spanish is best. 

Piano Teacher: great! I here you already play piano a bit.

Me: *explains my piano history*

Me: *plays the one song I know still*

Teacher: oh! You still know how to play! I kind of figured a break would have meant you didn't know any songs!

Me: *glad I exceed expectations, as opposed to falling short of them*

*after class*

Teacher: have a nice week!

Me: *absolutely loves the class, and can't quite remember why in the world I quit piano in the first place, seeing as it is amazing!*

Scene 5 -- The Home-Coming

(If looking for a realistic interpretation of the play, insert a version of this after every day of school and music lesson and other excursion)

Me: Hello! I'm back from ------!

Whoever is home at the time: how was it?

Me: exhausting, but great! The people were really nice, and I managed to say "--------" without messing up!

Them: well, it's normal to be exhausted, and I'm glad people were nice.

The family: *laughs hysterically at whatever the latest event of the house is*

Me: *happy to be at the house, because it is starting to feel like home, and everything is familiar*

Scene 6 -- the Night Time Conversation with Life

(Note: I am not, in fact, crazy. I simply needed to format internal thoughts to the play, without the use of asterics, because I am sick of them)

Life: how's this whole 'abroad' thing going?

Me: good, though very lonely at times...

Life: you were warned it would be.

Me: I'm well aware, but the last couple of days, I have been finding a good routine, with which I am really happy.

Life: that's good!

Me: yeah, yeah it is... I also get a lot of hope from other people's blog posts from when they were abroad... Most of them say that at about 5 months in, everything starts to feel normal, and gets easier.

Life: oh, you have got plenty of time gurl, you've only been here two weeks!

Me: I know... I am going to be fine :)

Me *already regretting the use of asterics* *drifts off to sleep contentedly, knowing that I have a lot of time to make friends, learn the language, and other wise immerse myself in the culture*

THE END

The Best Day

I know that this blog post is uncharacteristicly soon after the last, but several blog-worthy things have happened of late. So before I get to this posts namesake (please leave comments about whether that was the correct use of the word "namesake") I will tell about the last two days. 

The night of the last blogpost, I went with my host family on a picnic. Having little understanding of the language, I made out simply that we were walking and that it was a very short walk (if you have read the last blog post, you know, as I do, that this could actually mean that the walk is quite a long one). So we set off (just the kids, the parents drove with the food) and as we walked to the other side of the village, I told my host sisters (both of whom are currently applying to go abroad next year, one to the U.S., one to Denmark) about the application process. I was so focused on the conversation and trying to use my limited vocabulary to convey fairly complicated ideas, that I did not notice that we had abruptly come out of the town, and into the farmlands. It was getting to be dark, but we walked without much problem in the dusk, our laughter ringing out over the fields, filling the cool night's air with happiness. I understand how pretentious that sentence was, but it was one of those moments that made me appreciate life. Another of those moments came a bit later, when it was truly dark, and we were looking for a way to get light without wearing the glaring head lamps that we had brought for the walk. Instead we were putting them in plastic cups, which created fun, colorful, not-to-harsh lights. My five year old host brother's "lamp" glowed particularly well, and then we realized that that was because he still had water in it. We managed to salvage the battery, and got a good laugh out of it as well. 

I will skip the next day, that is to say, yesterday, because it was a hard day, and I have decided that this will be a positive post only.

Today, I woke up to the joyful sounds of my two youngest host siblings yelling at each other downstairs. When I went downstairs to inspect, I found them squabbling in the kitchen over whether to have the TV volume at one level or the other (the volumes in question being less than audibly different). 

Soon, both of my host parents were also in the kitchen, and a nice conversation about the cartoon characters of the household's favorite show was in full swing. I managed to contribute a bit, something I was very proud of, considering the infrequency with which I do that these days. 

After sneaking some extra Nutella, my youngest host brother and I played a game, where one person draws on a white board and the other guesses what it is. The upside to this game: does not require a huge vocabulary. The downside: neither of us are very good artists. After much laughter over how silly my drawing of a bee was, I settled down on the patio with a Harry Potter book, (my main source of comfort here in this strange land). 

Midday passed lazily, with my grandmother's beautiful piano playing in the background, and a simple lunch of cheese, tomatoes, salad, and hummus. 

At six-o'clock, I tried yoga for the first time ever. The teacher was very nice, and while I had no idea what she was saying for the most part, I watched what others did, and recognized the words for "right" and "left". It was surpringly difficult, but more than that, it was a good excuse to relax and not talk for a bit.

At dinner, my host sisters and I laughed so hard we couldn't breathe at several incidents that have occurred since I arrived (only some of which had to do with me). 

To wrap up the evening, we sat in the living room and laughed at a cheesy TV show for about half an hour before heading to bed.

Today, was the best day of my exchange so far, and I wanted to share it with you all!

Thanks for reading!!

Finally a moment to think

This moment feels like the first moment I have had to myself (long enough to form a coherent thought about my experiences) in a week.

The start of the insanity was last Wednesday, the day I finally had to say goodbye.

We awoke at some way-too-early time and drove to the airport where we were met by some of our closest family friends. We sat down to coffee and chatted for a bit, until it was time for me to go through security. I was far too excited and tired for many tears, and everything had not yet sunk in. I went through security, waved one last time to my parents, and headed off to my gate, and then to New York. 

Once at JFK, finding AFS was not too difficult, and I met the other eager-eyed AFSers with whom I would travel across seas. 

The next three days were a blur of rules, security lines, airplanes, trains, and  a fair amount of waiting around. 

*Fast forward to Saturday, when I finally met my host family, after so many emails, and soooooo much time waiting. *

Honestly, the first thing I noticed about my family was that they were somehow shorter than I pictured, but they are so very nice.

The car ride from Barcelona to the very small village passed without too much awkwardness, since I managed to keep a semi-constant very-stumbling conversation going with my host sisters.

When we arrived in the town, the European-ness of it registered the most in my overwhelmed mind. Complete with narrow cobblestone streets and people talking everywhere, I don't think I could imagine a better place to be immersed in a European culture.

Their house is BEAUTIFUL and so full of life that I am never bored. With five host siblings, and a constant stream of other people (family, friends or others) there are always people in the house. 

On the second day with my host family, I skyped with my parents. I am not too ashamed to admit that I cried like a baby the whole time. The length of time that I will have to go, and the difficulty of trying to connect with people who don't speak my language caught up to me upon seeing their faces and my house. I am constantly reminded that this emotion is normal, but that does little to make it easier :)

Since then, I have met my class, though not yet started school, and met countless  other people who live in this town.

This reminds me. The first full day I was hear, I got an invitation from my host parents to come with them for a short hike with a few friends. Apparently "short" is 2 and a half hours and "few" is about thirty. However, it was amazing! We hike up to the very top of a small mountain, where a small church was nestled into the rock. We took a picture with all of the participants of the hike, and everyone sang a Catalunian song as a flag of Catalunia was flown.

Apparently, this was something that people were doing all over the Catalunia in order to show their support for Catalunian freedom. It was intimidating and awesome all at the same time.

At this point, I am very nervous for school to start, because I think this will be by far the hardest year of school in my life so far. 

I will try to blog more regularly as my life here (hopefully) settles down. 

Thank you all for bearing with me through  the process up until now, I can't believe I finally made it!